Canadians are having less sex during the coronavirus pandemic

10 min readMar 25, 2021

Flexibility is the ability to bend without breaking. If we are all trees amidst a pandemic storm, the windy gusts of virus variants and vaccine delays are blowing our branches, hard. It’s been nearly a year now and many of us feel like we are going to snap: It’s bend or break time.
Are we sheltering the storm by slipping under the sheets with a significant other? Surprisingly, no.

The naked truth is that Canadians are having less sex, not more, according to a national survey by researchers at the University of British Columbia. Reasons for this decrease could include increased mental health problems, too much time together for couples or too much time alone for singles.

It’s an unfortunate twist, because we need this type of feel-good activity when stress is at an all-time high. Research has consistently found that more frequent intimate sexual encounters are associated with greater well-being. Regardless of their personal situation, improving sexual flexibility may be just what Canadians need to perk up their drooping sex lives.

Measuring sexual flexibility

Stéphanie Gauvin, a doctoral student in psychology at Queen’s University, created a measure of such flexibility, which she named the SexFlex Scale:

“A sexual script is like a sexual menu. When you go to have a sexual interaction with someone, you have this menu of options that you can select from. Some will have a bigger menu because they have more things they have thought of, and some have a more exclusive menu. With your partner, you have to figure out the pieces of that menu you might want. There may be menu items that are your go-to favourites, some that you are willing to try, or some you’re not really sure about, but might be willing to try.”

But what if an ingredient isn’t available or there is a new chef? Detours in sexual scripts could present as differences in desire between partners due to factors including pain, performance anxiety, arousal difficulties, medical conditions or times of transition like menopause.

How easily one can change their approach, modify strategies for sex or think of different options to suit changing sexual situations are components of the SexFlex scale.

Gauvin likens low sexual flexibility to insistence around restaurant dining.

“I need to have a three-course meal, with soup or salad as the first course, the main has to have meat and I must have chocolate cake for dessert! If there is no chocolate cake, we didn’t even go out for dinner.”

Individuals able to try alternate strategies to preferred sexual scripts are thought to cope better with acute and chronic sexual issues. In their study of post-prostate cancer patients, University of New Brunswick researchers found most men had fairly narrow and traditional sexual scripts that required penile-vaginal intercourse.

Erectile dysfunction was often seen as the end of their sex life and many chose to discontinue all sexual activity, even when their desire for sex was still intact. The findings from another study on sex after prostate cancer epitomizes the importance of sexual script flexibility in improving sexual satisfaction for self and a potential partner: “If you’ve got 10 fingers and a tongue, sex ain’t dead.”

Desire and motivation

Motivation is also critical. The distinction between a sensory experience that mutually gratifies both partners and sex to accommodate the desires of just one is important. Engaging in sex to avoid conflict or disappointment is associated with lower relationship and sexual satisfaction. Unsurprisingly, sex that enhances intimacy or promotes closeness with a partner has the opposite outcome.

Caroline Pukall, clinical psychologist and head of the Sex Research Lab at Queen’s University, helps clients reframe sexual encounters with an approach focus: “Can we talk about sexual pleasure or intimacy as a goal?”

Back to the food metaphors. Sex doesn’t always have to mean setting the broiler on high. Start by “simmering with your sexuality,” suggests Pukall. This is especially important for those with a history of trauma or medical issues. Taking bubble baths together or simply spooning naked in bed would be examples.

Those seeking to expand their sexual menu but don’t know how to start, need to begin with a (probably uncomfortable) conversation about sexuality. But sexual self-disclosure, discussing sexual likes and dislikes, can produce a menu that is consensual and mutually pleasurable.

And as always nowadays, there are apps — like Mojo — that are useful for helping to add sexual novelties. New flavours that, with ongoing discussion and consent, could spice up the menu. For those with vulvas, OMGYes! is recommended by sexperts for understanding more about what makes you feel good.

Sexual scripts

To preserve our dining metaphor, one could ask: “Who sets the menu in the first place?”

There is evidence that those adapting their sexual lives in creative ways are thriving despite the swirling pandemic storm. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University surveyed 1,559 adults — 70 percent female and 75 percent American — and found that while nearly half reported a decline in their sex life, those expanding their sexual repertoire by including new activities such as sexting, trying new sexual positions or sharing sexual fantasies were three times more likely to see their sex life improve.

Kim Tallbear, an associate professor of Native Studies at the University of Alberta is one of the producers of Tipi Confessions, a creative storytelling show on sex, sexuality and gender with Indigenous, feminist, queer and educational perspectives. Her critical lens on decolonizing sexuality challenges us to consider that love and care can be enlarged, not compromised or lost, when we embrace a multiplicity of relations.

Don’t be spoon-fed — discover your own unique personal tastes and take some time to plan out a solo or partnered sexual menu — and enjoy.
The burdens of HIV, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and tuberculosis (TB) have been a feature of the South African health landscape for decades. With the advent of the Covid-19 public health crisis that has taken up space, resources and attention, the country runs the genuine risk of losing the gains made in tackling these three disease areas.

For South Africans — particularly young people — the pandemic has endangered their efforts to have safer sex.

Tumisho, who did not want his surname to be used, is a 25-year-old masters student at a university in Limpopo. Every month, without fail, he goes to the campus clinic to collect three packets of MAX condoms — free government-distributed external condoms available in public spaces, including campuses, health facilities and even taxi ranks.

But this changed when the Covid-19 pandemic hit South Africa, and the country went into lockdown to restrict movement to curb the rate of new infections.

Access to condoms during lockdown
Tumisho — like many students across the country — was forced to go back home to his village. He thought he would still be able to collect condoms at his local clinic, just as he did on campus.

But, on two occasions, the clinic was out of stock.

Tumisho was not alone. A lack of access to condoms has become a reality for many South Africans since the start of the pandemic.

And now, almost a year since the first Covid-19 case in South Africa, the country’s public healthcare system is still feeling the ramifications, especially the continuing burden of HIV, STIs and TB.

In April last year, a briefing document from the UN Programme on Aids (UNAids) reiterated this.

“The disruption of economic activities in the context of the Covid-19 pandemic will have far-reaching implications for the provision, accessibility and security of supplies for sexual, reproductive, HIV and other health.

“The global condom supply and distribution is no exception, but thus far, condoms have neither been regarded as essential commodities nor receiving enough attention in contingency planning for Covid-19,” the brief states.
Dr Thato Chidarikire, the director of HIV-prevention programmes at the department of health, confirms that South Africa’s supply of condoms was affected when the ports were closed, because condoms are imported from overseas.

Unprotected sex when condoms are not available
Tumisho and his partner have been together for just more than a year, and they have consistently used condoms since the beginning of their relationship.

But when condoms were out of stock at their local health facilities, the couple ended up having unprotected sex.

“I tried buying [external] condoms, but they were expensive, and I could not afford them,” he says.

At first, the couple didn’t think not having external condoms would affect them. “I was uncomfortable when we became intimate, because we were now adapting to a new thing that we had not done before, and that scared me,” he says.

In the absence of external condoms, the couple did not inquire or even think about using inner condoms. “I usually don’t check for those because they are not put in public spaces where we are. We haven’t used female condoms,” Tumisho says.

Inner condoms have been dubbed a game-changer for HIV and STI prevention, because studies have shown that women have more power to negotiate safer sex when they use them.
The FC2 inner condom has been available in South Africa for 23 years and remains a mainstay of one of the world’s most extensive government-funded inner-condom programmes.

The programme was launched in 1998, with support from the manufacturer, the Female Health Company.

It has experienced steady growth over the past two decades, with the inner condom remaining the only available method for the receptive partner to use to protect themselves from STIs, HIV and unplanned pregnancy.

In 2012, the World Health Organisation cited the inner condom as an essential strategy for pregnancy and HIV and STI prevention.

The manufacturer’s injection of more than R21-million supported the programme nationally: it provided a range of free, multilingual technical capacity and social-marketing support for the product to raise awareness of the inner condom.

More than 630 000 people have been trained to provide advocacy and education about the product and its use, as well as in supplying it to communities. South Africa has played a critical role in scaling up the inner condom programme, with strategies that saw the condom being integrated into sexual and reproductive health services.

The department of health also distributes scented and coloured inner condoms, in strawberry and vanilla.

However, inner condoms are not nearly as widely available as the external condom. They are often hard to find (even in public health facilities), despite demand — and greater access also needs to be accompanied by promotional activities.

According to the current national strategic plan on HIV, STIs and TB, the health department has committed to distributing at least 850-million external condoms and 40-million inner condoms from 2017 to 2022.

Inner condoms account for a less than 5% share of the overall condoms to be distributed.

Tumisho says he doesn’t consider inner condoms as real condoms. “I don’t even think my woman knows how to use them,” he giggles. “I’m sure she never got the education on how to use them.”

Running low on condoms
Tumisho is back on campus now, and he says the campus clinic no longer keeps condoms; instead, each residence gets one box of condoms distributed to it every week. One box is not enough for the students: it is finished quickly, and he has raised this matter with university officials.

The UNAids brief also warned that the lack of distribution of condoms would lead to increased incidences of STIs, HIV and unintended pregnancies.

As of 2020, there were 7.9-million people living with HIV in South Africa. The department of health figures show that, in 2017, about 4.5-million people had with gonorrhoea, six million had chlamydia and 71 000 had syphilis.

Phinah Kodisang, the chief executive of the Soul City Institute for Social Justice, says the government has been prioritising Covid-19 at the expense of sexual and reproductive health services.

However, according to sources inside the health department, a campaign to specifically promote inner condoms is in its initial stages.

Additionally, lockdown restrictions have also made it difficult for young people to gather physically to attend HIV-prevention programmes and clubs.

Kodisang warns that if the government continues to neglect sexual and reproductive health services, the country is likely to be left with a new crisis at the end of the pandemic.

A nurse at one of the public clinics in Soweto says the clinic has not run out of condoms during the Covid-19 pandemic, except for inner condoms, which are never available. “The only problem we had, especially under level-five lockdown, was people who were scared to collect their treatment, because they feared they might catch Covid-19. They defaulted on their treatment,” the nurse says. “But we sent our community healthworkers to go to people’s homes to deliver condoms and medication.”

Safer-sex advocacy programmes
Chidarikire acknowledges that condom programmes, like many other health programmes, were negatively affected by Covid-19, particularly during the more restrictive lockdown levels. Because of the restrictions on movement, the department of health could not distribute as many condoms as it had planned.

“However, as time went and the lockdown restrictions eased, we were able to move condom distribution through our Covid-19 screening [programmes],” she says.

“And also, when we started contact tracing, in most cases, we were trying to include condom distribution [by] our contact tracers within the communities.”

Even though the pandemic necessitated that priorities and focus areas be shifted from other health services, such as sexual and reproductive health, Chidarikire says campaigns continued on digital platforms and reached many young people.

One such platform is B-Wise Health, which ran a three-month mini-campaign on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram about the consistent use of condoms and STI education. Chidarikire says that partners such as Love Life and Soul City also ran and continued running campaigns on their digital platforms about condom use.

The department of health is also looking at public spaces where it can continue to distribute condoms, even when other spaces are closed. These include taxi ranks and train stations.

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https://www.guest-articles.com/health/canadians-are-having-less-sex-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic-25-03-2021
https://www.thewyco.com/news/50-flirty-romantic-and-sexy-questions-to-ask-your-partner-25-03-2021
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https://gumroad.com/danielleyayala
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Canadians are having less sex during the coronavirus pandemic

Written by Nathan Olson